My mother: I will not prove that this universe is nondeterministic since it's a proof by contradiction.
Me: Oh really, that's so interesting! Can you really prove it? Prove it na, please, please...
Mother: Alright... (silent)
Me: Go on, prove it na.
Mother: (silent)
As I stop the stove, my mother enters the kitchen and looks at the pan on the stove.
Mother: What are you doing?
Me (dramatic and pompous): Well, Well, Well. Allow me to introduce you to Broeggs: a culinary masterpiece, a perfect blend of taste and nutrition...
My mother abruptly looks at it again, and asks
Mother: What exactly did you do?
Me: Well. To create this, it requires an unparalleled expertise...
Her angry stare was enough for me to drop my tone.
Me: Ehh, I boiled eggs and broccoli first, and then cooked them in daliya... yielding a rare combination of rich, extraordinarily taste with perfect nutrition. EHM, EHM. It's time that my exceptional skills take control over our cooking duties...
My mother takes a deep breath with irritation.
Mother (in an angry-comforting voice): Betu, I appreciate you tried to cook for the first time. You will learn slowly and one day you will be alright.
Me: Oh come on, this is a masterpiece, a perfect blend. You must learn how to cook it...
Mother: EHHH. SHUT UP. YOU HAVE INFLICTED DISASTER ON THIS WORLD. YOU HAVE CREATED A VOMIT INDUCING SUBSTANCE. GO ON TRY IT.
I took a small bite nervously and straight RUSHED to spit it in sink. Drank a full glass water. I left the kitchen slowly with my mouth closed tightly avoiding my mother's DEATH STARE.
Mother: Did you complete the assignments?
Me (very tired doing assignments): Nauht yeett! You are being very irrational here. We had already mapped each weekday to number of questions I need to do. And now you are asking me to increase each by one. This is a completely new schedule; I am tired of it.
Mother: Betu, you need to work hard. Time is finite, unlike many other things...
Cantor rushes to his board.
Me: Yeaahh! Yes, I am the goat, I have done it. I have finally found a proof for P vs NP. Yes!
My mother: Oh really!
Me: Yes, Yes. It uses finding number of independent cycles in an undirected graph; it's a very hard problem that separates the two classes.
Mother: Good for you, betu. (I always feared he'd crash out on a cyclic argument)
Me: I had a very good joke in my head on quantum mechanics before I thought about it.
My mother: Yeah? I am all ears, go on.
Me: No, as soon as I thought about it, it was gone.
Mother: Oh really! Then, how do you know you had it in first place?
Me: I certainly had it in one of the possibilites!
My mother: Combinatorics is so wrong. In what world there are two ways to choose one from: bullet in your head and cool sleep under a mango tree?
Me: I see what you are trying to do there. But, choosing a bullet is always a way, even if it kills you.
Mother: Really? What if one of the options is eating Broeggs, you cooked the other day?Me: I always knew Math is subjective.
My mother: Do you know what a self-refrential joke is?
Me: No, what is it?
My mother: I will ask a quesion. Do you know what my question is?
Me: No, what is it?
My mother: Do you know what a hook statement is?
Me: No, what is it?
It's tricky, but every scientific discovery has come through willful anticipation. Before it fell, Newton continuosly observed the apple and "had a good feeling about it". And if you are wondering, yes, he was the chosen one. He was destined to do it.
Short jokes are always bad.
Me (after convocation with degree): Finally! I did it!
My mother: I am so proud. But remember, luck favours the hardworking. With no hard work at all, you got lucky that luck favoured you.
Me: NOOO!! Oh come on, luck played no role. And you know it.
Mother: Arrey! I am joking. I know you have worked very hard and I am very proud. (calm pause) But you should realize, some luck is always needed. You got lucky that you made it with only hardwork and no luck.
Me: Eghgggh!!
I wrote a reversed joke. It begins with the punchline. Then quickly ends with the setup.